Control Tower

Take It Like a Mistress

by Mistress Matisse

I’m sure I’d be remiss in my role as a Lustlab.com columnist if I didn’t address a topic that fledgling Dominas have often asked me about: How can I get fucked by my male submissive without losing any bitch-Mistress credibility?

It’s a valid question. We live in a male-dominated society that generally equates female penetration with female submission. But don’t despair—if you’re a dominant girl who likes getting her pussy probed, let me tell you all about how to do that.

Before we start, let’s set expectations. In this scenario, he is simply your sex toy. Don’t worry about him having an orgasm; that’s completely incidental to our goal, which is to get you laid just the way you like it.

Then let’s begin with our boy staked out to a nice flat surface. If he isn’t already hard, we should fix that. I recommend straddling his face to get things moving, and I generally like using my riding crop to give that burgeoning erection some encouraging little love taps. Communication is always a good thing in a relationship, so while you’re up there, tell him all about what a little slut he is and how you’re going to use him like a blow-up doll for your own satisfaction.

Once he’s reached the desired state of heat and firmness, put a cock ring on him. Strap that hard-on up nice and tight—we want to preserve it for your use. Next, put a condom on it, even if you normally don’t use them. In fact, use two. The diminished sensation is to remind him that this isn’t about his pleasure, but yours.

Now, you can just climb aboard and ride, if you feel satisfied by his state of helpless arousal. But if you want to enhance your own experience by pushing him further along the path of sexual surrender, you have options.

A butt plug is one of my favorite add-ons. It should be just slightly larger than whatever size he finds completely comfortable. If you’re feeling benevolent, the traditional lava-lamp shape is fine. But if you’d like to make your fuck a more mutual experience, you should use a long, slender (or not) dildo. As he lies on his back, put it in about halfway in his ass and then stuff a pillow or a towel under the base to keep it in place. Now, each time your weight comes down on top of him, the dildo will slide into him more deeply.

There are dildos that have a suction cup on the bottom, and these work very well on a hard surface—say, the kitchen floor. But make sure you kneel on pillows; we don’t want your knees to be uncomfortable.

Fun variation: Carve a butt plug for your boy out of peeled raw ginger. Make sure you leave a large flange on the end, so it can’t go all the way in. Using ginger as a biodegradable sex toy is called “figging.” I don’t know why, because no figs will be harmed in the making of your scene, but it’s a safe way to produce a very tingly, hot sensation in someone’s ass—or other places.

Nipple clamps are useful, too. Think of the chain that runs between them as reins, and he is your ponyboy. I like to create even more tension and uncertainty for my play toy—I’m generous that way—so I usually either gag him, blindfold him, or both. And hoods enhance that anonymous-sex-toy status very nicely, I find.

Throughout the scene, it’s your responsibility to monitor his responses to the stimulation and make sure he isn’t really in trouble, especially if he’s gagged or hooded. It’s easy enough to do this without breaking character. Concerned about whether he getting adequate circulation? Say to him, “Wiggle your fingers and toes for your Mistress.” If he can’t, something needs to be changed. Wondering if he’s breathing okay? Remark to him, “You’re my little slut, aren’t you? Say it, say you’re my little slut.” Then make note: Does he give his response promptly? Is his voice clear and strong? If not, figure out what’s wrong and deal with it.

How much sensation he can accept without it being too much? Well, that’s going to vary from person to person, and sometimes the same person can have slightly different levels of tolerance on different days. The point here is to balance the pleasure he will get from being inside you with loss of control and intense sensation, so his mind will stay fixed on his role as your sexual servitor.