Control Tower

MR. SEXWORTHY

by Mistress Matisse

When I first found out we were doing The Ben Exworthy Issue, I admit I had some doubts about how my weekly exhortation to sin was going to blend with the theme. I mean, clearly Mr. Exworthy has a charming touch of the exhibitionist going on. But aside from that, what would the kink angle on this story be?

Some communication with Mr. Exworthy relieved my anxiety--a guy who describes himself as a scheming, narcissistic extrovert sounds like exactly the kind of person I'd like to have at my party. Hmmn, I thought, maybe I should see if I can seduce this guy over to the Dark Side. He might be very entertaining.

Of course, you can't just come right out and say, "I'd like to use you like a rented gym towel for my personal amusement and gratification." Well… okay, actually, you can. But it's best to do some groundwork first. I probed some of Ben's inner recesses, and here's what I found:

Question: If you had to pick someone to be stuck with in an elevator, would you choose a foot fetishist, a female dominant, or a leatherdaddy?

I'd have to say a leatherdaddy. He'd be more likely to lift me high enough to get out a hatch and get help. A foot fetishist might help me up, then cling to my feet and drag me back down. I doubt a female dominant would let me use her straps to climb down the shaft without me licking her boots and wasting time.

Well, he clearly has his priorities, although I'm disappointed that he wanted to get out of the elevator that badly. Tut-tut, Ben, a wasted opportunity!

Question: Ever worn women's lingerie? What did you think about it?

Well, I have, but it's because I couldn't find my own underwear in the pile of accoutrements strewn about.

I think I was at that party. Hey, did you take a black thong, size six, with a devil face on the crotch?

Question: A lover turns to you in bed and says, "Smack my ass!" You respond…

(A) with shock and distaste

(B) by obliging, although it doesn't do much for you

(C) by saying, "Wait a minute, greedy, let me get your ankle-cuffs buckled!"

I'd probably say in the C, D, or E range of answers.

I love it when people exceed my expectations.

Question: What's the kinkiest thing you've ever done?

Hmmm, I had sex on the second date with a girl at the Cloud Room: By the end of two bottles of wine, I'd convinced her to follow me out to the stairwell where I picked the lock to the roof access, shimmied up 12 feet of scaffolding, and had sex between the "A" and the "M" of the Camlin sign. Oh, and I had a brief romantic encounter with a 6'3" woman with blue hair who ate insects and worms for a traveling circus.

I'm sure that somewhere a former Camlin security guard at still cherishes that grainy black-and-white videotape.

Question: Polyamory--a great idea, or more trouble than it's worth?

For me, it's more trouble than it's worth. I've seen it work with some friends, but it seems to take tremendous effort to keep things in a neutral mindset, to be open about all things, including just everyday stuff, like being tired and cranky. I admire the strength of character in those that can pull it off, though.

Hey, maybe that could be my super-hero name: "Strength of Character Girl!" No cape, though.

Question: Ever hired a sex worker? Did you have a good experience?

Never, but I think I should, just for the experience. The transaction process seems like it would be more fun than the act, especially if I can end up bartering with chickens or doing their taxes or something.

Huh. Well, I don't need any chickens. But April 15 is just around the corner, Ben… talk to me.