Control Tower

DIRTY TALK

by Mistress Matisse

There is one skill that, in my opinion as both a sex worker and a privately practicing pervert, is essential to being a serious sex bomb. That is: talking dirty.

And I mean doing it well. Badly done trash talking has ruined more sex than a case of counterfeit Viagra--trust me, I speak from experience here. Like the guy who has memorized a few unimaginative phrases from bad porn films: "Suck that cock! Yeah, bitch, suck it good. Yeah!" Oooh, how eloquent. Not. Or a stumbling, nervous delivery, where the voice of the would-be seductress goes up at the end of every line: "I, um, want you to fuck my pussy?" Honey, are you asking me or telling me?

Let me tell you what you need to talk dirty. First, you need to choose a general style. (You can have more than one, actually, but that'll come later. Get good at one before branching out.) For example, you can be a light, playful dirty talker, or you can go all breathy and sort of Marilyn- esque, or you can do it dark and growly like the lead singer for Rammstein. But it should be a style that feels congruent with your personality, because you must be able to seem confident in what you're saying. Obvious nervousness is a lust-killer here.

Once you've figured that out, here are some main categories for things to say:

Tell them how they look to you. The short answer here is "good." But the long version is, "Seeing your hot little ass up in the air makes me crazy." Or, "God, your cock is beautiful."

Tell them what you're going to do: "I'm going to suck you until you come on my face like a porn star."

Tell them what you want them to do: "Spread yourself open and show me how ready you are for me."

Tell them how they're making you feel: "Hearing you moan makes my cock/clit throb."

You should try to cycle through all of these categories, as hitting the same theme over and over gets a bit tedious.

Next, you need to be aware that there are two speeds for talking dirty: sweet and nasty. Sweet dirty talk is when you say, "I want to feel you inside me, lover" and nasty dirty talk is when you say, "Slam that cock in my cunt, now!" It's about word choice and tone of voice. You need to match your rap to the mood of the sex--if you're having gentle, lovey-dovey sex with lots of kissing, telling someone you want him to make you his ass puppet isn't going to blend well. Neither do you want to be employing language from a Harlequin romance novel with a leatherdaddy you met at the Eagle. Consider your sexual situation and shift gears accordingly.

Something to remember with nasty talk: There are certain words that may trigger a negative response in people, and those responses may not always make logical sense. Someone may be fine with being called your personal fucktoy, but then get upset at being called a slut. I like to ask, "Any words you're not okay with?" before I start the potty-mouth games.

That's basic dirty talk. Advanced dirty talk is when you start talking about things that aren't actually happening, and aren't necessarily going to. It can be talking about a sexual fantasy, or it might be a verbal role-play that you want to play out with your partner. I call this "advanced" because there's more scope for error here. For example, if you start spinning a Severus Snape/Hermione Granger fantasy while you're having sex, and your partner (a) isn't turned on by that and (b) has no sense of humor about such things, well, you're buying yourself a ticket on the Coitus Interruptus Express. Tread lightly with a partner until you know what he or she finds sexy to talk about, and establish an "abort fantasy" word or signal that either of you can use if you're not liking the storyline. But don't take oddball fantasies too seriously--my lovers and I have a rule that we're not held accountable for anything we say while fucking.

There's an Oliver Wendell Holmes quote that says, "Speech is the mirror of the soul; as a man speaks, so is he." So talk sexy--and you'll be sexy.